Monday, February 4, 2008

Weird dreams

I've been having weird stress dreams. They are about jobs and school and papers. I am stressed about my job situation and for some reason vicariously stressed about Tom's midterms. But the weird thing is, its not like my classic stress. When I used to get stressed, I would have a lot of anxiety about it. I thought you couldn't be stressed without being anxious. As it turns out, now that I am dealing with my anxiety, stress is little more than just thinking a lot about it. Stress with anxiety was me feeling sick to my stomach and being unable to sleep from the adrenaline. So as a result of thinking about how much I hate my job situation and thinking about Tom's papers, I am dreaming about them. But I am dreaming.

It makes me wish I had gone to therapy sooner. I had no idea I had such anxiety issues until I literally had such a bad attack I ended up in urgent care. I just thought I was normal. Also, I think my anxiety was the reason I always did so well in school. If I didn't feel sick when I didn't study for a test, would I have studied at all?

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