Photos

Yay! Carl has posted teasers of our engagement session at Schiller Park. I'm excited to see the rest!

11 days until the wedding. I'm reaching a Zen-like attitude towards it.

Holy Crap!

The wedding is 3 weeks and 2 days away. Yike shnike that is getting close...and there seems to be an endless to-do list still! Ugh! I can't wait until its over :)

Aisle Music

This weekend, Tom and I were listening to records and combining our CD collections. It was bliss. We were listening to my Tears for Fears album and "Head Over Heels" came on. That is like, one of my top five favorite songs of all time. It's like that guy on Seinfeld and "Desparado". While I was dreamily staring off into space listening to it, Tom suggests that I walk down the aisle to it. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Hello! Perfect!!

Of course, his mom will think it is completely inappropriate. But she is so painfully traditional, it hurts me. Actually, I would go as far to say her traditionalism offends me on a personal level. So her disapproval usually makes me happy, except that she seems to think her opinion carries more weight than it should. That's always annoying. She trash talks everything else about the wedding, so why not this?

Amazon is happiness!

OMG I JUST FOUND PETE AND PETE ON AMAZON OMG OMG I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Sorry, I'm giddy at the prospect of watching Pete and Pete. And Artie, the strongest man - in the world!

I am further excited by the purchases of string quartet tributes to Foo Fighters and Queen! I wanted the string version of "Everlong" but was even more excited to be able to walk down the aisle to Queen's "Best Friend" in strings! Not only is it completely awesome, appropriate, and not that common, but that is a couple checks off the old to-do list as well!

Wheee!!!

WTF

I should not have discovered this site so early on a Friday morning: www.regretsy.com. Holy cow this is some addictive shit. There goes my productivity...

Eurotrash

me: I told the cake lady that our theme was "Eurotrash". You know, lots of white cubes.
TH: You actually said "Eurotrash" to her?
me: Yes.
TH: This is why I am marrying you.

Finished!

The condo party for Betsy and Dan to finish off the liquor before they move to Chicago was a bad idea. It sounded good in theory: there is one shot of vodka in the bottom, or 2 shots of peach schnapps, etc so we just made drinks to finish them. Except for that I forgot how bad it is for me when liquors mix...most people were deathly ill by the time the party ended. And I imagine were ill the rest of the next day, like I was. I had my cake tasting and could barely keep it down! Such a bad idea. Such a bad one. I should have known better...

Philosophy

I just signed my name on 30 HR action forms, some of which are for rehires in the fall. I did it all in a row until my hand hurt, and then it (once again) made me think about how weird it will be to have a different name and signature.

First of all, the mechanics of it. Right now, S L Armentrout flows very nicely in a signature. I can connect the 2 t's with a single line. It's a pretty sexy signature, now that I think about it. And when I ititial something, it is SA that I make look like a star. I enjoy the way it looks. S A Hickey doesn't flow. It's shorter, which is a good thing, but I have always hated the way k's look in my handwriting. H's too. They are not sexy letters. It will take forever coming up with a new signature that looks as good as my old one.

Second of all, the philosophy of a new name. Does that mean a new identity? Will I no longer be entitled to all that was Sabra Armentrout? Am I forsaking what I am to jump into what I will be? Who is Sabra Hickey? Is she cool? Can she make her marriage last, or will Sabra Hickey be pushed aside for an encore of Sabra Armentrout?

I've done a lot of reflection on what I am embarking on in 2 months. I want to be successful in marriage. I want to push through any problems that come up and come out stronger on the other side. I want to embrace my newest family members and have my existing family embrace my new husband. I want to grow as a person with Tom. And I can only hope that I am armed with the love, compassion, strength, and humility it will take. But I realize that means not looking back. So Sabra Armentrout, I will not mourn your loss. I will celebrate the phoenix that is Sabra Hickey instead. However difficult that may be to write.

Shower

I didn't want one until it became a means to afford a photographer...but there is a secrecy behind it with that I am very uncomfortable with. I don't think Jamie has ever seen how uncomfortable secrets make me. Seriously. Eep.

Invitations are done!

Now I am just waiting on my mom to finish addressing the envelopes. It takes her forever to write, but she has the neatest friggin' handwriting of any human. 20 are already done, stamped, and ready to leave my life forever! Yay!

Butterflies

Every once in a while, amidst the angst and dread that comes with the logistics of wedding planning, I'll have a moment that reminds me why I am doing this in the first place. It's like suddenly remembering Jesus when you are battling crowds at stores for Christmas shopping. And then I get really excited to be Tom's wife. I'm going to be someone's wife! Not only someone, but Tom. The best guy that I know. The most patient, silly, secretly caring person that I know. Yay!

Dance Class

So I signed Tom and I up for a "Wedding Crash Course" dance class at the studio next to Staufs on Grandview Ave. The reasons for this are many, but include:
- I suck at dancing. Seriously. I can't even slow dance; my prom date and I were swaying in opposite directions.
- I don't want to be embarassed when people are watching me dance at the wedding.
- I always secretly wanted to take Social Dance at OSU when I was a student, but was too afraid to. It looks fun when you watch Dirty Dancing Havana Nights!
- It was only $55 for the both of us to attend 4 sessions. How bad could it be?

Our first session was Sunday. And here's a breakdown of why it was fairly humiliating:
- Tom lost interest after 10 minutes, so he didn't pay attention to what we were supposed to be doing. He's the lead - its a problem when he doesn't know what to do!
- In the "presenting the bride on the dancefloor" move practice, he decided to act like he was showing a dog at a dog show instead of presenting a bride, and almost ran me into a pillar and the instructor of the class.
- I couldn't do the spin that we were supposed to do. She kept describing it in words that I couldn't translate to what my feet should have been doing. Being surrounded with all of these girls that had no trouble with it made me feel worse.
- At one point we were dancing so badly the instructor came over and told us to stop. Then she told us to do the dance that she taught us in the first 10 minutes, while Tom was still paying attention.

Our second session is next Sunday, and I guess I'll go back, but if we are in for more humiliation like that, maybe I will skip the last half. The optimist in me still hopes that dancing could be fun.

Charity Workers

I just got a check from a charitable institution for an ad they had already paid for by credit card. This isn't the first time it has happened to me - a lot of people can't keep tabs on their own finances enough to remember that they have already paid a bill. But this one struck me as sad, because usually I think "stupid people that work there" and go on but they probably can't afford someone who is with-it enough to not pay a bill twice. And so they lose even more of the scant resources they have. It's just another one of those ways that is built into society where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Dreams

I've been having weird dreams about my past, namely that odd year and a half between graduating college and dating Tom. That year was the year I let out all of the previous oppressed drinking, dancing, and social butterfly habits and got them out of my system. I worked retail at the time, so I had time to do so. I lived with my dad, so I had money to do so. And so I did. Among my most fantastic moments from that year, to give an example of the kind of reckless shenanigans I got myself into:
- I drove down to Florida with 2 guys I had only met 2 or 3 months before and stayed in the same hotel room with them. There were 2 beds and 3 people, and most of the time a guy was alone in one of them. The whole week we spent drunk on the beach, doing things like playing mini-golf or visiting strip clubs. Long story.
- I shared an entire bottle of cheap grocery store vodka with a guy I had a crush on from my brother's job and slept on his twin mattress on the floor in my clothes.
- I became infatuated with a guy that I didn't really realize was dating a future good friend and bridesmaid until we had went out to a We Are Scientists concert and fooled around for a night.
- I found myself throwing up on the floor of the Burgundy Room on my 23rd birthday after having about 11 drinks in the course of an hour.
- I made out with one of my friends while staring at his friend (see above, guy I had a crush on and shared lots of gin with) (see also: both guys I went to Florida with)
- I spent the night in the emergency room holding the hand of a friend that had gotten into an ill-advised bar fight in which he got his ass kicked and upper lip split in two.

I cringe at most of that stuff. I could hardly believe, looking back yesterday, that all of that had taken place mostly inside a year. Every night was a new drama! But still, after being so tightly wound through the age of 22, it was nice to actually enjoy some of the stuff I had deemed completely evil previously. I just wish that I had younger youth to hide behind...but I digress. Once Tom and I started dating a few months after that 23rd birthday, I left that life behind and treasured the time in which I grew up socially. The time that lead me to Tom.

So why am I dreaming about it 3 years later? I think my mind is reviewing what my life was like before Tom in preparation for being married. And all I can say is, THANK GOD I FOUND HIM. Seriously. I think in the face of pre-marriage freak outs about divorced parents begetting divorced children, my subconcious is trying desparately to remind me how things could still be. And at 26, I don't have the energy for that kind of drunken drama anymore. I am enjoying the quiet (but not completely dry) life I have with Tom. The kind of life that I don't have to worry about who will pick me up off of the floor after I've had a few too many. :)

Thanks

It hit me all of the sudden how thankful I am for many things, and it compelled me to record this sudden rush of gratitude.

I am thankful for:
- My loving and well-intentioned man
- My boss trusting me so much that he gives me stuff to do while he is in the Carolinas that I'm not really sure how to do
- An aunt that loves flowers and is so willing to help
- A mom that wants to buy my cake and get me a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer on top of that
- A best girlfriend that is so excited to throw me a stand mixer-themed bridal shower (because everyone going in on one present is the only way I agreed to have one...)
- The jambalaya leftovers from last night in the work fridge
- My organizational skills
- The lovely spring weather yesterday and the first summer storm last night
- Being able to play tennis finally and the fact that I don't mind that I suck at tennis
- Iced coffee
- Free font sites
- Having Myrtle Beach to look forward to
- More than I can ever list

Flowers...really?

So because I don't really care about flowers much, I enlisted the help of my "aunt" Ela to coordinate that business. And oh man, and I ever glad she is in my life. I asked her if she would want to help me with that, and she said that she hoped that I would ask! Sweet!

The day after on an etsy finds email, I found these flowers that I am kind of in love with. So she says that the closest real flower she can think of are these which are of course perfect. I really have never cared for cut flowers, but those were amazing! I love black and white, and great contrast. And then she sends me a bunch more that I might be interested in. This is going to be so much better than I thought. I was all set to just get a bouquet from Kroger for $5 because I didn't care. Sure these will be more, but the fact that I am actually kind of exited about something as frivolous and silly as flowers is saying something, for sure!

Sometimes I feel like this wedding stuff isn't that bad. Especially when I am not the one that has to do it!

In that same vein, I bought my veil on etsy yesterday. It's the kind of veil that is almost like not having one, but it will push me on the right side of the fine line between prom attendant and one who is marrying. (After reading One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding, I can't stand the word "bride" anymore. Seriously. I don't know why, but that word is like nails on a chalk board now.) And it was only $22 bucks! That is cheaper than the DYI kits at Michaels!

Mexican Drug Cartels

I heard an NPR story about how Mexican Drug Cartels are pretty much stronger than the Mexican government now, and how they are either going to hijack the government or there is going to be war. Either way, it seems like an eventuality that the US military will have to step in. Yikes. I mean, that is seriously scary. The implications of being at war with a neighboring country in this day and age are many, including civilian casualties, racism with a dominant minority group, etc. It is jarring to think of this being so close to home: these kinds of things are usually across oceans, and if every American is like me, you thought that stuff like this couldn't really happen here.

I am really glad I live closer to Canada than Mexico.

Frugal Bride

I got another email from Minister Photography. Every time I have gotten one, I have clicked "unsubscribe," but they just keep coming. So in response to the latest email advertising a package for the "Frugal Bride" that cost $1500, I fired this email off:

"I have repeatedly unsubscribed from your emails to no avail. Please unsubscribe me or I will be forced to tag this as spam.

Also, where do you get off saying that $1500 is for the Frugal Bride?!! The truly frugal bride wouldn't pay a dime over $500 for a photographer, and that is only if nobody she knows takes good pictures. That is f*&%ing ridiculous to proclaim that someone would spend that much on pictures and still would be categorized as "frugal".

I call myself a "level-headed" bride. For the sake of not wanting to pay for this wedding for years to come and not asking my parents take out 3rd mortgages on their homes, I am just having a few of my friends and family take pictures. If I had an extra $1000 laying around, I would hire Carl McKinney - his pictures are amazing and he is way better than a lot of the people that charge twice as much as him. Vendors like you make me wish I had never gone to that worthless bride show. Every vendor there was out to gouge and swindle people en mass to the point where the stupider brides among the pack were convinced that pictures of one single day really should cost $1500 and beyond."

I am so angry at the wedding industry. I am also a little salty that we can't afford Carl - I really wish we could. I love how he doesn't pose people and still manages to catch these amazing pictures that are great of the people and the situation. They really show life. Way better than stupid posed crap or pseudo-artsy-bride-checking-her-lipstick-in-the-mirror shots. Sigh...

Legal Schmeegal

I had a moment of "Crap! How long in advance do we need to apply for marriage?" so I looked it up. And seriously? Whomever wrote out all of the FAQs for the Franklin County Civil Marriage Court site is awesome. They had a list of all of the places you need to register a name change with, all of the things that you might need to adjust when you get married (I would have never remembered the beneficiaries on my insurance!) and all of the phone numbers for anywhere you might need to call. Plus, I learned that the day you go in to apply for marriage (providing you have all of the correct IDs and stuff) is the day you get a license good for 60 days! I didn't need to worry...Thanks Franklin County Courthouse!

Sickly

I don't know what it is about Spring. At first I feel super energized, and then I always tank for some reason! This year's spring Health Suck Fest is brought to me by my stomache and its overzealous production of acid. I came down with a really bad stomach ache that lasted for several days, and after doing a startling WebMD symptom checker went to get it checked out. They thought I had pancreatitis (!) but after the tests came back negative put me on acid reflux meds, which are now starting to work. I lost 4 pounds last week because I could hardly eat anything! So now that I am finally starting to feel normal from that, allergies have come back and now I am living with an invisible paper bag on my head and a brick in my lungs. Geez.

I miss working out (almost) more than anything. I mean, don't get me wrong, its been kind of nice being able to go straight home after work instead of hanging in the gym for another hour after work. But I miss that feeling of being completely strong and able and feeling like I can do anything. But I might miss coffee and spicy foods more...

In other news, I have over half of the invitation covers made. Soon I will be able to clean up the sun-room-turned-invitation-factory at Tom's! The button-and-string closures have been a bitch to make, but now that I have the process down I am flying and will have them done in no time. If there are any font nerds out there, what font should I use for my invites? I want something besides the standard formal scripts that are usually on wedding invitations, and something that would appear as bold as I am intending with white vellum over a cobalt blue and black background. I have perused the Word fonts and have been found wanting. I was briefly a fan of Garamond, but I don't like the little cross hair thingys (they have a name...of only Katie were here, she knows what they are called). I want a cross hair thingy-free font, but I don't like Arial or Univers enough to use them. Suggestions?

Dress

My 2nd attempt at a wedding dress came yesterday from J Crew, and its pretty good. It is cotton, so completely breathable and comfy. It has an empire waist that just goes a-line out from it, so I don't have to have it altered or worry about waistline fluctuations between now and then. It has a deep v-neck that won't quite work for me, but with the material taken off of the bottom hem (because I am a short fry) I can fashion a sort of "modesty panel" to make it decent again. All in all, I really like it and think it will work well in my pursuit of having a casual feeling formal dress!

I am going to Tom's mom's tomorrow to see if she can do the hems and stuff. Hopefully I get out of this dress situation without having to drop any more money! $600 is a lot for a dress, and I still can't believe it came down to not being able to find a reasonable option under that amount, but its over and I don't have to think much about it anymore so that makes me happy!

Car Go Boom

My car died today on Woodruff, right in front of the stadium. It sucked majorly for me, because I was almost to work but I couldn't budge my car. But the people that simply had to go around me took it badly. Even with my blinkers on, I got many honks and angry fingers as people blew rudely past me. Bus drivers were yelling through the window at me. Everyone acted like I broke down on purpose just to spite them!

As if that wasn't bad enough, I panicked because this is the kind of thing I usually call my dad about, and we aren't talking. Besides, once I came to my senses I realized that the grown-up thing to do is to call AAA and get towed. So I did that. And I called the mechanic to make sure I could tow it there and they would be available. After all of that, I called my mom and complained about all of the assholes that rushed up on my rear end like I was going to magically move my car just because they were there. What a bunch of jerks. I especially loved when I got the finger from snotty little students with their C passes and brand new daddy-cars.

Its just one of those many examples in life about how we kick people when they are down. I was already having a shitty day...why did they need to make it worse with the honks and fingers and yelling? I evaluated my options for pulling off somewhere, and there weren't any places to turn off. There were no berms or anything. I was already in the place on that stretch that would cause the least disruption (thank God that's where it stalled out!). So chill out people!

The shop called and said they could have it fixed by the end of the day, but it would be about $900. The distributor cap was flooded with leaking oil. The crank shaft was all messed up, and the spark plugs all need replaced. The electronics are all screwed up too. $900? That is a lot of appetizers...

Gorgeous!

It is sooooooo nice out today! I left my jacket in the car. First jacket-less day of the year! Horray!

I got a $15 Target gift card for tasting potato chips. To celebrate the nice weather, I took it right to Target on my lunch break and bought one of those arm band thingys for my phone/music player so that I can run outside today after work. Yay for not having to work out in the gym today!

I love being able to be outside again :D

Great Weekend

I had such a great weekend! I feel energized by the impending warmth and light of spring so I had the energy to do all of the following:

-Got up at 8:30am on Saturday
-Made lemon poppyseed scones from scratch, including the candied lemon peel
-Went to visit baby Max and play with him/catch up with Olivia
-Went to Target and Luck Bros for lunch with Jamie and Tom
-Made fancy flavors of jello shots for game night
-Went to game night at Betsy and Danners
-Got up before 10am on Sunday (seriously people, I can't usually drag myself out of bed until 10:30 on the weekends! This is amazing for me!)
-Made southwestern omeletts and turkey bacon
-Didn't shower and went straight to preparing flower beds for spring planting
-Went grocery shopping
-Organized and cleaned kitchen
-Made shrimp tacos for lunch and helped make whole wheat crust pizza for dinner

This was like, 3 weekends worth of stuff in the winter. And I never once made a move to take a nap! And I went to bed before 10:30pm on Sunday night!

I love spring! I am probably not going to get much wedding stuff done anymore, because fun srping stuff is so much more fun!

Columbus Neighborhoods

I am so excited about the upcoming series of documentaries that will chronicle the history of major Columbus Neighborhoods over the span of 2 years. The first one, all about the Short North, airs Monday the 8th at 8pm. It not only includes the High St corridor, but also Fly Town, Harrison West, Italian Village, etc. The series will also explore King-Lincoln, University District, German Village, and will culminate on Valentine's day 2012 (the 200th Birthday of the settlement!) with the special on Franklinton/Downtown.

I can't wait for the last one in particular. I am about to become a full-fledged citizen of the oldest neighborhood in Columbus, and I really want to know the intricacies of how it went from Lucas Sullivant's baby to ghetto in 200 years. On a walk last summer, Tom and I discovered (with the help of google satillite of all things) the oldest cemetary in Franklin county: The Old Franklinton Cemetary. Most of the grave stones were weathered smooth, broken into pieces, and displaced from their original site but this guy Gary Royer did a lot of research and work on it and it is an amazing place to visit. They have a memorial made of patio stones with the people known to be buried there and their dates. They have several Revolutionary War soldiers there, as well as soldiers from the War of 1812 and the Civil War. Anyway, seeing all of these people whose last names are streets all over the city just made me absolutely hungry for any history on the area.

This is why I want to go back in time - not to fix my own mistakes, but to speak to the pioneers of the area and really fully understand the social and political happenings and hardships. I would love to be able to see it with my own eyes!

Tables and Chairs

I spent all lunch break looking for the cheapest table and chair rentals in the city, and wouldn't you know that the place, Linen Care Plus, is within walking distance from Tom's and right down the road from the Culturals Arts Center? Convenience + Good Deal = Happy Sabra!

And now I can't get the song out of my head by Andrew Bird. "I know we're going to meet someday in the crumbled financial institutions of this land / There will be tables and chairs, there'll be pony rides and dancing bears, there'll even be a band..." I <3 Andrew Bird.

And that's not all! Whoa, there will be snacks there will. There will be snacks there will. Be. There will be snacks.

Dispatch

Oh man, I am all riled up now about Columbus real estate. There was an article in the Dispatch about how all of these big, old mega apartment complexes are completely unwanted and undesirable and are sitting half vacant on the market, and nobody wants to buy them. Maybe it was that 3 month stint at WKM, but I see those and would love if everyone could see these 2 truths about them:
1. They were (and still are, in the right neighborhood) considered to be the epitome of class during the real estate boom. People love new construction. They love complexes. They love culs-de-sac and windy streets that go nowhere. They love parking lots and complex pools they can drive to. They love rental centers that you visit and signing leases the day they go. They love not having to search for an apartment, just searching for the best complex and having available housing right there.
2. They will always become out of vogue when they get to be over 10 years old. Because it isn't new anymore. Because they were built so shoddily in the first place that they are completely falling apart by then. Because the landlords were out to make a quick buck, and now that the renters are drying up and heading further away from the center of the city, they are practically robbing their own properties instead of using the rent money to maintain and update the properties. Because they didn't get in the game to run a successful long-term complex, they got in it to make a quick buck and maybe even to steal money from the federal housing subsidies at some point.

This is why having a culture of renters really gets us into trouble. Because they aren't invested in keeping up the places that they live, and the land lords aren't invested in keeping it up when they have tenants. People are always pointing fingers and blaming whomever is not them for the bain that the rental properties are on the neighborhood, and even the bigger city. But it starts with the renters. If they would just keep the place from looking trashy when they are there, and wrecking everything because they don't have to pay for it, then maybe the landlords would care to make updates because they aren't constantly fixing the more cosmetic stuff that gets the tenants to sign a lease, like new carpet/paint to cover big marks on the wall. Maybe if everyone took a little more responsibility for our surroundings, the city could be a little nicer of a place than it is, and we wouldn't mind shelling out money to become property owners. And then we would all have a vested interest in maintaining the city.

I know people that aspire to rent their whole lives. They want to be able to move after six months if something happens that changes their mind. This is a very dangerous mentality, as far as I'm concerned. You don't have citizens in that case. You have people with one foot out the door from the moment the lease is signed. That is no way to build community. That is no path to a good, livable city. That is the equivalent to people that will not get married. They can't handle having a reason to stick with something when things aren't smooth sailing. Life isn't smooth sailing - we all have to put up with things that aren't pleasant sometimes. But things don't get better if you avoid adversity, you are just shoving your adversity to the surrounding community. It's toxic. People like that are absolutely toxic to the world.

I rent now, because I haven't settled my finances enough to buy a house. Up until recently, I hadn't settled my personal life and career enough to know where I would need to settle down. Everyone needs to shake out those details in life. But i think the absolute most toxic people are the ones that don't even try - they just think they will drift through life going wherever they want to and not making any real commitments to their surroundings. Not even being open to any commitments. Great societies are not built by those people. Big, old, mega apartment complexes are.

Weekend cooking

I realized why I will probably always be this weight. My most notable weekend fun was all of the delicious food I got to cook/eat! I made blueberry muffins from scratch and turkey bacon-wrapped frittatas on Saturday morning (you line a ramekin with bacon and pour the egg mixture in! Genius!) and went to Spaghetti Warehouse that night for pasta, sangria, and tiramisu. So delicious. On Sunday, Tom and I made a delicious Mexican feast with pork, chorizo, poblano, jalapeno, and red bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, cilantro-lime basmati rice, and homemade Salsa Mexicana (which Tom said was one of the best he ever had and congratulated me on whipping it up with store-bought winter vegetables :D).

Seriously? I love to cook so much that it was the most notable fun I had this weekend. And this weekend included a Jim Gaffigan concert. Yikes. Maybe I should stop fighting it and embrace it.

Goals

Man, I just thought about my goals in context of what the goals for the 2000dollarwedding were. Mine are so much more caveman than hers! Yikes...I guess what really matters to me is having a good party, but we aren't really feeling close to people right now. I think it makes a big difference whether or not you are really connected to your social group or whether they are all moving out of state currently. I wish I could feel more connected, but I think a part of me has been isolating myself because I am afraid of just gabbing everyone's head off about wedding plans and realizing at the end of the night that I haven't actually listened to others.

And that is what I hate most about planning a wedding. Whether you want to talk about it or not, all conversation seems to swirl around the topic. Even when I make a concious effort to not talk about it, someone always asks. Arg.

A weight has been lifted off of me

At the suggestion of a friend of an old work friend (funny how the 'net connects us in weird and interesting ways, no?) I checked out the blogs http://www.apracticalwedding.com/ and http://2000dollarwedding.com/. I am amazed at how much better, more hopeful, and less stressed about wedding stuff I feel after reading about how other like-minded people have dealt with the social mores surrounding weddings. I was really feeling trapped by them, like I had no recourse but to follow the traditions because I had never entertained the idea of carefully keeping the ones I liked and throwing the ones I don't like out the window. I feel so much more grounded about the process right now. I may even steal the 2000dollarwedding idea for the dress - an DYI embelleshed target sundress! I was so focused on doing a stripped down version of the traditional that I never entertained doing what I usually do. Do I usually shop at JCrew for dresses? No! I go to Target or Kohls! But I looked at JCrew and thought, oh, only $600 for a dress? That seems like the least I can do for a "real" wedding dress... (Not that I will cancel my order now...but when it comes, if it isn't comfy and if it doesn't fit, it is going right back - not to the tailor's as I originally had in mind)

I think having a fight with my dad has helped in this matter too. He was going to contribute $4000, but he has been really overbearing since he said that so I told him to keep his money and if he was going to be so unreasonable, then stay at home that day, too. Of course I don't want my dad to not be there, but he needed to have a shock to his system. And I needed it to - now that I don't have that money as a financial crutch, I've been scrutinizing many more of the things I thought I just *had* to have. For example, I hate cut flowers. I think they are a waste of money. They are dead plants; I would much rather have alive ones to enjoy for a whole season. I was going to get them anyway, because people just didn't seem to be able to handle a wedding without flowers. But you know what? Screw flowers (in the traditional sense, anyway). I heard an idea for just getting a supermarket bouquet and doing your own with ribbon. I recently found a lot of wide cobalt blue ribbon in the $1 bin of Michaels, and I can do that just fine. For someone that doesn't give a crap about flowers, it seems like the perfect solution.

This is a work in progress for sure, but I think that with my new appreciation for just doing it our way and not feeling pressured into squeezing our values into social norm molds we will have an easier time from here out.

Thank you Adrienne!

Shish Kebobs

Oh man, how excited am I that the good people that brought us Cafe Shish Kebob on Bethel Rd have an express restaurant in the Gateway now? Not only that, but they deliver and have an amazing online ordering system! I love having delicious Mediterranean food delivered right to my office :D

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

Brazilian orange truffles are yum.

To make up for the fact that Tom had me in secret Santa this year and he got me the ring and all, I got him a piano tuning scheduled for spring break for Valentine's Day. I love giving him presents that don't take up any space, are kind of luxurious, but something he would have spent money on himself. If it meets that criteria, it is probably perfect for him.

I'll start posting again...

But I'm warning you...I am planning a wedding and that is nearly all I think about. It is terrible...I can't stop getting random thoughts in my head like "Oh my god, we still don't have an officiant!" or "We should get those awesome toffee chocolate almonds for the favors!" or the ever popular "I wonder if craigslist has any dresses worth buying today..." (the latter one always hitting me when I should be doing some important number-crunching at work.)

I have come to realize that no matter what I do in life, anger will always be my most prominent feature. Everything about wedding planning makes me angry. I am really not girly, so I have anger at dresses, flowers, and all of the women who squeal and ask about my color schemes with all of those things. I hate mushy stuff, so I have short tempers with people that start tearing up at the thought of walking me down the aisle, being included in my "special day", and anyone suggesting that I look all grown up in a marshmallow suit. Oh yeah, and anyone who asks if I cried when Tom was down on one knee and definitely anyone who says that they cried in the same position. I hate being wasteful, so I especially have anger at people who think I should have a bridal shower for all of the gifts I don't need, the employees of any and all wedding industrial companies whose job it is to convince me I absolutely need a new set of crystal and china or $50/person plated dinners or a $1,000 dress or seat covers (because chairs are so ugly?!). ANGRY.

The day after I got engaged, I said that the most important things to me in a wedding are as follows:
1. Booze. Because weddings are generally boring.
2. Night time. Because I hate mornings and getting up early.
3. Family and Friends. Duh. Maybe that should have placed before booze...

But I am thrilled that I have love in my life, that I have loved ones to share in it, and that I have an excuse for being crafty (the only part I am enjoying is making the invitations and favors!) And I get a vacation after the it is over with! I think that anyone who really knows me knows that I am the happiest I've ever been right now, and that the anger at the presumed wedding traditions is just the pineapple skin.