FLIES!!

I killed about 4 flies yesterday in my apartment and thought, hunh, thats weird. Then I came home and found a million flies by the window! What the f***? Where do they come from and why are they here? There is nothing they could breed on! I leave no food or dishes out! I took out the garbage yesterday!

I went to Kroger and got spray, and spray I did. I think every surface in the house has a film of bug spray now. The inside and outside of the windows is coated. Then I swept up the strays with the vacuum hose. It was like Ghostbusters, but with flies.

They better be gone. That's all I'm saying.

Good weekend

It was a good weekend. It was very refreshing physically and emotionally, which I really needed both. It was the kind of weekend that reminded me of the Bloc Party song "Sunday."

Phew. Get ready for a hectic week.

Same Old Question

I am continually plagued by the same question. It is never a question that can be answered. The optimist and the pessimist in me are duking it out for what I should think. It's a true test of whether I can control my anxiety.

conundrum

How can someone ask for forgiveness when they are so unwilling to forgive?

Happy :)

I made the decision to try and put positivity into the world this week. I feel so happy now! I just had a wonderful night with some good friends. I slept so well last night because I actually spent the night dreaming about kittens! I didn't know people over the age of 10 dreamt about that, but it was great. I feel like I am starting to mend ties that have been strained to breaking point lately. I let negativity consume me over the past couple months, and I feel like a weight has been lifted now. Even though tomorrow Dami is moving out and that will try my temper, I will still be happy because tomorrow is my independance day! Yay!

Overwhelming sense of ickyness

I can't blog about anything anymore. Everytime I want to write me a catharsis, I realize that it is only going to dig me further in the hole. Fuck.

I just wish I could actually talk out my problems with the people I have them with. I am not into this passive-aggressive bullshit that everyone else has for me. If people were as open and honest as I am, the world would be a healthier place. But the reason I am in this mess is because I am open and honest and others act like it is fine and they agree to my face and then pull some shit out later that makes me realize how much they hate me.

I kind of wish I could just get away from it all, but as long as I love him, I will never be away from it. Oh bother.