Dreams

I've been having weird dreams about my past, namely that odd year and a half between graduating college and dating Tom. That year was the year I let out all of the previous oppressed drinking, dancing, and social butterfly habits and got them out of my system. I worked retail at the time, so I had time to do so. I lived with my dad, so I had money to do so. And so I did. Among my most fantastic moments from that year, to give an example of the kind of reckless shenanigans I got myself into:
- I drove down to Florida with 2 guys I had only met 2 or 3 months before and stayed in the same hotel room with them. There were 2 beds and 3 people, and most of the time a guy was alone in one of them. The whole week we spent drunk on the beach, doing things like playing mini-golf or visiting strip clubs. Long story.
- I shared an entire bottle of cheap grocery store vodka with a guy I had a crush on from my brother's job and slept on his twin mattress on the floor in my clothes.
- I became infatuated with a guy that I didn't really realize was dating a future good friend and bridesmaid until we had went out to a We Are Scientists concert and fooled around for a night.
- I found myself throwing up on the floor of the Burgundy Room on my 23rd birthday after having about 11 drinks in the course of an hour.
- I made out with one of my friends while staring at his friend (see above, guy I had a crush on and shared lots of gin with) (see also: both guys I went to Florida with)
- I spent the night in the emergency room holding the hand of a friend that had gotten into an ill-advised bar fight in which he got his ass kicked and upper lip split in two.

I cringe at most of that stuff. I could hardly believe, looking back yesterday, that all of that had taken place mostly inside a year. Every night was a new drama! But still, after being so tightly wound through the age of 22, it was nice to actually enjoy some of the stuff I had deemed completely evil previously. I just wish that I had younger youth to hide behind...but I digress. Once Tom and I started dating a few months after that 23rd birthday, I left that life behind and treasured the time in which I grew up socially. The time that lead me to Tom.

So why am I dreaming about it 3 years later? I think my mind is reviewing what my life was like before Tom in preparation for being married. And all I can say is, THANK GOD I FOUND HIM. Seriously. I think in the face of pre-marriage freak outs about divorced parents begetting divorced children, my subconcious is trying desparately to remind me how things could still be. And at 26, I don't have the energy for that kind of drunken drama anymore. I am enjoying the quiet (but not completely dry) life I have with Tom. The kind of life that I don't have to worry about who will pick me up off of the floor after I've had a few too many. :)