Philosophy

I just signed my name on 30 HR action forms, some of which are for rehires in the fall. I did it all in a row until my hand hurt, and then it (once again) made me think about how weird it will be to have a different name and signature.

First of all, the mechanics of it. Right now, S L Armentrout flows very nicely in a signature. I can connect the 2 t's with a single line. It's a pretty sexy signature, now that I think about it. And when I ititial something, it is SA that I make look like a star. I enjoy the way it looks. S A Hickey doesn't flow. It's shorter, which is a good thing, but I have always hated the way k's look in my handwriting. H's too. They are not sexy letters. It will take forever coming up with a new signature that looks as good as my old one.

Second of all, the philosophy of a new name. Does that mean a new identity? Will I no longer be entitled to all that was Sabra Armentrout? Am I forsaking what I am to jump into what I will be? Who is Sabra Hickey? Is she cool? Can she make her marriage last, or will Sabra Hickey be pushed aside for an encore of Sabra Armentrout?

I've done a lot of reflection on what I am embarking on in 2 months. I want to be successful in marriage. I want to push through any problems that come up and come out stronger on the other side. I want to embrace my newest family members and have my existing family embrace my new husband. I want to grow as a person with Tom. And I can only hope that I am armed with the love, compassion, strength, and humility it will take. But I realize that means not looking back. So Sabra Armentrout, I will not mourn your loss. I will celebrate the phoenix that is Sabra Hickey instead. However difficult that may be to write.