Maybe I am not meant to see the world. But something about seeing all of these young people with money going everywhere and seeing everything when I am just trying to make rent is...unsettling? I could have studied abroad, but I never really considered it. What would I have done? How could I have paid for it? It seemed like more of a pain in the ass at the time, and I didn't have any friends in my major so it wasn't like I could go with a bunch of friends. But now I feel strangely out of the loop. I was proud of myself for being able to afford a greyhound ticket to Kansas a year ago...I just never considered going anywhere cool, let alone out of the country. But I've come to the determination that if I had friends outside of the country or living in cool places, I would go to see them. It just happens that the kind of people I am friends with move to Kansas.
That was kind of an emo post. Lately I feel as though I will be scraping by forever and that I might never achieve success. I should listen to what I tell others: that your life isn't determined at age 24, that you need to concentrate on what you can do now instead of feeling doomed, etc. This is what happens when you watch Clueless and drink hard cider on a Wednesday night.
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Psh. You will leave the country some day if you want to. If you don't do it on your own, I would probably demand a visit if I moved to a foreign country, or I would just drag you somewhere amazing for awhile for the hell of it. You just need a reason to go somewhere! It's usually all chancey anyway... like I had no idea I would go to Singapore when I first started college. Tom's never been out of the country and I don't think he plans to go necessarily. But not all of your friends will move to Kansas. (Not me at least!) And you never know... maybe you will be the one dragging Tom off to Guatemala. ;-)
ReplyDeleteCheers to emo posts! I do love them, just like I love you! :D (Here's to sappy replies too! Haha).
Oh... and I thought I would add this:
ReplyDeleteI know I am spoiled, that I've had it a lot easier than you, and I'm living in freaking Switzerland right now in a really posh part of town... so take this for what you will.
I was just thinking today about how much I want my paycheck next Monday... how it will be pay from working last week and this week.. and it will seem like a lot. But then I realize it has to pay for these past two weeks and then last me two more weeks until the next paycheck... and thinking about getting to the end of this week seems hard... and waiting two weeks until another check seems like a very very long time. Waiting for that next check is just difficult. It just seems like there is not enough money to get from check to check, and that there is nothing I can do about it.
And well... whatever life I have back in Ohio, right now I'm getting a taste of what it's like to have to struggle to pay the bills... and worry about getting money that you really need. I feel like now I understand more about what it's like for you to have to pay everything and never have much money and to struggle with it all. I feel like I can empathize a little more, and I must say that it's impressive that you've come as far as you have. Paid off your college loans, made it through on top. You're doing well, even if you haven't traveled all over the world... you keep on top of your shit.
Ahhh that's all for now I guess?
Aww, I love you Katie. And I am glad that you haven't had to go through the financial strife I have...I wouldn't wish that on a friend! And you are also one of the least spoiled people I know. You, Tom, and Betsy are soooo grounded considering. I mean, Tom can be a snob sometimes, but generally you guys are very appreciative of what you have been given in life. I never mean that you are some rich society-sect "have".
ReplyDeleteI just always feel like the Laverne and Shirley, wrong-side-of-the-track, server at the country club watching the rich kids play in the pool while I'm working kind of person. Me being emo about that is in no way a slam on the way you were raised, because you guys know what you have, you work sooooo hard to get where you are, and you don't take things for granted. Seriously, I hope you never take it badly when I bitch about my crap.