Tired

I have been chronically tired this week. I feel like I will never get as much sleep as my body wants. I just want to have one of those days where I nap all day on the couch and I'm not even sorry about it. My body feels heavy. My arms, my legs, my eyelids all just want to collapse.

Even so, when I get the chance to sleep I stupidly give it up. Like yesterday, I got home from work at 2, and I could have napped but it was so sunny out that I wanted to stay awake. I had been wanting to make a really good meal, so I did that. For the joy or cooking or something. But when I couldn't find anyone that was willing to come over for a free meal, it made me realize that the joy of cooking is really only the joy of enjoying the product. It made me really sad that I spent all day cooking and nobody could eat it with me. I suddenly understood why my dad was always so depressed when he wanted to cook and nobody had time to come over and eat. I wish Go was in town, nothing would have stopped him from coming and devouring everything. Oh well, I guess I'll just take a nap and eat pizza bagels next time...